Disney World for the Mind

When I was in High School I played trumpet in the concert band. During my junior year I was excited to learn the band would be going on a trip to Florida. We would give concerts at different venues and of course there was a visit planned to Disney World. We spent a Tuesday at the park and I spent the whole day enthralled. From the first topiary of a Ivy Dragon undulating through the lawn to the fireworks that night I was in an imaginary world and I let myself forget about reality for the whole day. I let the Pirates of the Caribbean ride and the Flying Teacups be my reality. A few years later I discovered a Disney World for the mind. The Disney World of sleep and Lucid Dreaming.

It all started when I started nursing school and between study and work I was very busy and very stressed. One night I fell asleep on the sofa and started to dream. In my dream I saw an old wooden door with pealing green paint. As I looked at that door I seemed to have made the conscious realization that I was dreaming. That is to say I was asleep and dreaming but my conscious mind woke up in the dream and became aware of the process of dreaming. I immediately decided to test out this awareness. I decided to make my father come through the door. I knew he was over 300 miles away at the time and the only way he could come through that door was for me to be in a dream. I thought it and it happened. I said hi, then I turned to look around the room and the dream ended. I had had my first of many Lucid Dreams.

Interestingly enough the next night I dreamed of the same wooden door. I immediately knew I was dreaming when I saw the door. This time I had a beautiful woman come through the pealing green paint. OK not the most noble thing to do but my dream self was smiling ear to ear. Over the next several months I flew (my favorite lucid dreaming activity), I visited famous people both present and past, I talked to angels and demons, I met dragons and pirates.

I had discovered Disney World in my mind and it was more real than the theme park could ever be because this dreaming was a part of me and my mind. It was and is amazing.

Think of the possibilities. Being able to participate in any activity, talk to any person, confront any situation. I continue to lucid dream to this day .

My next post will have tips for having lucid dreams.

I Am The Luckiest Man In The World

I am the luckiest man in the world all because I had a big problem.

My problem began during a night shift at the hospital where I worked as a nurse. The short story is that blood from a man infected with both AIDS and hepatitis B had sprayed into my eyes while I administered blood to him. I clearly remembered the wetness entering my eyes and the temporary sensation of blindness. My heart sank to my stomach and stayed there for months. But it did not stay there permanently.

A week into this dilemma I was already tired of putting on a brave face. I was wondering if I was going to get sick and die, I was wondering how it would affect my family and I wondered about death. To deal with my anxieties and fears I made a deal with myself. I told myself that each day I would walk in the park and take a vacation from my problem. I told myself that I would just walk and when thoughts of any sort came to my mind I would let them go and redirect my mind towards my walk. The very next morning after working the night shift at the hospital I kept this promise for the first time of many times.

My technique was very simple. I walked. As my mind wondered I focused on the walk and then refocused each time my mind wondered. I actually focused on the feeling of my feet coming into contact with the path and the movement of my body through space. When thoughts would come into my mind I would be aware of the thought but would not interact with them. I would only give my thoughts the simple label (thought) then I would watch it pass and refocus on the feeling and sound of my footfalls.

Footfall by footfall I was able to focus more easily on my walk and I had a greater awareness of the tangle of thoughts that routinely went through my mind. I acknowledged each thought for what it was, a thought. I ceased to judge them as good or bad I became aware of the feelings they caused but I ceased to judge the feelings only acknowledge them as thoughts also. Footfall by footfall my heart became lighter.

This process of meditation and yes it is meditation was like slowly turning on a light in a huge warehouse and discovering all the things I have ever owned or been associated with. From the first diaper that covered my bottom to the new computer I just bought all the things were there. The warehouse is my mind and the objects are all my collected thoughts and emotions. The slowly illuminating light is this meditation. I was amazed at how many thoughts would filter through my mind in a five minute period. Hundreds easily. As I meditated my mind became calmer. The thoughts became less frequent and I was more aware of them. I found that much of the anxiety, fear, stress and depression I often felt were the results of thoughts of things that had absolutely nothing to do with what was going on in the here and now.

When all of this started I would have characterized myself as a moderately to severely anxious person. I was shut off from much of what life had to offer. Meditation has resulted in a calmer mind and a more abundant life.

I think sometimes I am the luckiest man in the world. Without realizing it I fell backwards into a form of meditation that opened my mind to the beauty of this world and my capacity to live in it. Today my heart often dances.

Where is the matter?

I demonstrated a few Tai Chi moves for an acquaintance. He saw the very slow fluid movements and said in a nasal tone "It would never work in a fight; it's too slow, too weak." I explained that it would be done faster in a confrontation and that Tai Chi was supposed to be practiced at a very slow steady pace with your minds full attention on the moves and the movement of Chi in the body. "What's Chi?" He asked.

Something about his expression told me that he was not going to be open to the idea of a life giving energy but I marched on. "Chi" I said, "is the force that is in all living things and animates us. Without it life would not be possible." I saw his face contort in concentration. He said, "How come scientists don't talk about this energy, if they don't talk about it they probably have never found it. So where is this energy?" He asked.

"The truth is," I shot back, "some scientists have been able to verify the existence of Chi through sophisticated heat sensing devices on the bodies of practitioners of meditation. The real question is not where the energy is but where the matter is." My acquaintance held his arm up and slapped it making a loud smack. "What do you mean? It's here and everywhere. It is all around us."

I nodded in agreement with him. "I know what your saying seems right but consider this. Most of the area in atoms, the little blocks that makes up us and everything around us, are to a great extent empty space. An atom is made up of a nucleus and electrons orbiting the nucleus. The thing is an electrons orbit can be up to 100,000 times the diameter of the nucleus. That means that if you enlarge a single atom to where the nucleus is one inch across the electrons could be up to a mile and a half away. His face fell somewhat blank. I continued.

It gets stranger than that. The electrons are much smaller than the nucleus. They might look like dust particles floating in the air. "My acquaintance asked, "If that is true why does my arm feel so solid?". He waved the arm in my face as if to say the discussion was over. I smiled knowing at this point he would not accept what I had to say but I explained that the electrons and the nucleus have strong electrical bonds that give matter its solidity.

He looked at me like I was crazy and turned and walked away. He had heard my words but did not accept them as true.

The truth is I don't know exactly what Chi is. I don't know whether or not it has anything to do with western physics. Although I suspect it does. I don't know if what the scientists are measuring on the meditating monks is chi or something else.

I do know we are made of energy. The fact that we and everything in our world seems solid is a trick on the interface devices of our senses.

What I do know is that the Chinese culture has a deep tradition concerning this. Internal energy is regarded as a fact of life. I know that Buddhist monks can use Chi to dry damp robes on their bodies on a cold morning while meditating. I also know that if the Chinese are right about Chi it wouldn't be the first time that their understanding of beneficial health practices is far in advance of ours. They knew all about boiling water to make it safe to drink a long time before we did here in the west. Just one of many examples.

Personally I know while performing standing meditation I almost always feel a sort of tingling sensation in my hands and sometimes the rest of my body. It feels like a nine volt battery releasing its charge through my flesh. Sometimes my hands repulse each other slightly like magnets. One time I am sure I raised my arms over my head without using my muscles. That is what I can say first hand about Chi. This is the beginning of my Nei Kung (internal energy) Odyssey.